Best Bedtime Routines for Children | Parenting with Daniela

As a mom of two wonderful boys with 12 years of parenting experience, I understand the joys and challenges of putting children to bed. Whether you’re dealing with a fussy newborn or a tech-obsessed teenager, establishing a consistent bedtime routine isn’t just about getting them to sleep – it’s about creating a foundation for their overall wellbeing and development.

In this guide, I’ll share everything you need to know about creating the best bedtime routines for children of all ages. From understanding the science behind sleep needs to age-specific routine recommendations, you’ll find practical tips to transform bedtime from a nightly battle into a peaceful, bonding experience.

What Is a Bedtime Routine?

A bedtime routine is a consistent, predictable sequence of activities performed in the same order each night before a child goes to sleep. It’s designed to help children wind down, transition from daytime activities to nighttime rest, and prepare both their bodies and minds for sleep.

The importance of sleep for children’s development cannot be overstated. According to the American Academy of Sleep Medicine (AASM), children need significantly more sleep than adults to support their rapid mental and physical development.

Their recommendations, endorsed by the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP), specify that:

Infants 4-12 months should sleep 12-16 hours per 24 hours (including naps)
Children 1-2 years should sleep 11-14 hours per 24 hours (including naps)
Children 3-5 years should sleep 10-13 hours per 24 hours (including naps)
Children 6-12 years should sleep 9-12 hours per 24 hours
Teenagers 13-18 years should sleep 8-10 hours per 24 hours

These aren’t just arbitrary numbers. Sleep plays a critical role in brain development, physical growth, emotional regulation, and learning capacity. A good bedtime routine helps ensure that children not only fall asleep more easily but also get the quality sleep necessary for optimal development.

Benefits of Bedtime Routines for Children

Establishing and maintaining a consistent bedtime routine offers numerous benefits that extend far beyond simply getting your child to sleep on time. Research has consistently shown that regular bedtime routines positively impact various aspects of child development and family functioning.

The proven benefits include:

1. Improved Sleep Quality and Duration

A consistent bedtime routine helps regulate your child’s internal body clock, known as their circadian rhythm. According to research, children with regular bedtime routines fall asleep faster, experience fewer night wakings, and sleep longer overall. This results in more restful, restorative sleep that supports healthy development.

2. Enhanced Cognitive Functioning and School Performance

Sleep is the time the brain works on consolidating learning and memories. A 2018 study published in BMC Public Health found that children with optimal bedtime routines showed significantly better performance in executive function tests, including working memory, inhibition, attention, and cognitive flexibility. These skills are crucial for achieving academic success and everyday functioning.

3. Better Emotional Regulation

Well-rested children are better equipped to manage their emotions and behaviors. Research from the Sleep Foundation has shown that children who consistently get adequate sleep display fewer behavioral problems, reduced hyperactivity, and better impulse control compared to sleep-deprived peers.

4. Stronger Parent-Child Bonding

The one-on-one time spent during bedtime routines creates valuable opportunities for connection. Activities like reading together, talking about the day, or simply sharing quiet moments help strengthen the parent-child relationship and build a sense of security and trust.

Related: Best Books for 3 Year Olds

5. Improved Dental Health

Including toothbrushing in the bedtime routine promotes good oral hygiene habits. A University of Manchester study defined the best bedtime routines for children as including consistent teeth brushing before bed, which was linked to better dental health outcomes in children aged 2-8 years.

6. Greater Independence and Self-Regulation Skills

Following a predictable routine helps children learn to manage themselves and their behaviors. Over time, they internalize the steps of the routine and develop greater autonomy, building confidence in their ability to take care of themselves.

How to Build the Best Bedtime Routines for Your Children by Age

Children’s sleep needs and preferences change dramatically as they grow. What works for a 6-month-old won’t be appropriate for a 6-year-old or a 16-year-old.

Here’s how to create age-appropriate bedtime routines that grow with your child:

Best Bedtime Routine for Babies and Toddlers

Infants and toddlers thrive on consistency and predictability. A good baby bedtime routine should be simple and soothing and signal that it’s time to sleep.

Start with a bath: A warm bath can be calming and signal the transition to bedtime. For newborns, this might be just a quick, gentle wash; for older babies and toddlers, it can include some quiet play time.
Give a gentle massage: Research shows that infant massage before bedtime can improve sleep quality and parent-baby bonding. Use gentle, slow strokes with a baby-safe lotion.
Change into sleep clothes: Put on a clean diaper and comfortable sleepwear as a must-have step in every newborn bedtime routine.
Feed your baby: Whether breastfeeding, bottle-feeding, or offering a small snack for toddlers, satisfying hunger before sleep is important in an infant bedtime routine. For babies under 12 months, feed them before other soothing activities to avoid having them fall asleep while feeding, which can create sleep associations.
Brush teeth/gums: Even before teeth emerge, you can gently wipe your baby’s gums. Once teeth appear, introduce a small toothbrush.
Read a story or sing a lullaby: Even young babies benefit from hearing language. Choose board books with simple pictures for babies and short, engaging stories for toddlers.
Swaddle babies securely (until they can roll over): Swaddling mimics the security of the womb and can help young babies sleep better.
Use white noise: Consistent background noise can help mask household sounds and promote better sleep.
Keep the room dark: Darkness stimulates melatonin production, the hormone that regulates sleep.
Put your baby down drowsy but awake: This helps babies learn to fall asleep independently rather than associating sleep with being held.

For babies under 6 weeks, it’s more about meeting their needs as they arise than following a strict routine. By 3 months, you can begin introducing more structure, though you should remain flexible and responsive to your baby’s cues.

Best Bedtime Routine for Preschool-Age Children

Preschoolers (ages 3-5) are developing independence while still needing structure and guidance. Their bedtime routines can be slightly longer and more interactive.

Set a consistent bedtime: Aim for a bedtime between 7 P.M. and 8 P.M> for most preschoolers, allowing for 10-13 hours of sleep.
Provide a healthy bedtime snack: A light, protein-rich snack can prevent hunger from disrupting sleep. Avoid sugar and caffeine.

Take a warm bath: Bath time can be slightly longer now, with more independent play.
Practice dental hygiene: Brush teeth thoroughly and begin teaching proper brushing techniques.
Use the toilet: A final bathroom trip reduces night wakings.
Change into pajamas: Let your child have some choice in their sleepwear to build independence and cooperation.
Quiet play time: Spend 10-15 minutes doing calm activities like puzzles or drawing.
Read stories together: Read 1-3 books, encouraging your child to participate by turning pages or answering questions about the story.

Related: Best Books for 4 Year Olds

Talk about the day: Briefly discuss positive moments from the day and things to look forward to tomorrow.
Final cuddles and kisses: End with physical affection and reassurance.
Bedtime: Leave the room while your child is drowsy but still awake, helping them develop self-soothing skills.

Consistency is key for preschoolers, who often test boundaries. A visual chart showing the bedtime routine steps can be helpful, letting them mark off each completed activity.

Best Bedtime Routine for School-Age Children

School-age children (6-12 years) are developing greater independence and face increasing demands on their time from school, activities, and social relationships. They still need 9-12 hours of sleep for optimal functioning.

Set homework boundaries: Complete homework before dinner if possible, avoiding bedtime stress.
Limit screen time: End all screen use at least one hour before bedtime to prevent blue light from interfering with melatonin production.
Take a shower or bath: Many school-age children prefer showers to baths.
Practice good hygiene: Brush teeth, wash face, and handle other personal care needs.
Lay out clothes for the next day: This builds responsibility and makes mornings smoother.
Enjoy quiet activities: Reading, drawing, or listening to calm music helps transition to sleep.
Read independently or together: Even as children learn to read on their own, reading together remains valuable for bonding and for literacy development.

Related: Best Books for 6 Year Olds

Brief check-in conversation: Discuss any concerns, celebrate accomplishments, or plan for tomorrow.
Relaxation techniques: Introduce simple mindfulness or deep breathing exercises to help manage school-related stress.
Goodnight ritual: A consistent phrase, hug, or other ritual signals the end of the day.

For school-age children, involve them in creating the routine. This gives kids a sense of ownership of their bedtime routine and makes them more likely to cooperate without resistance.

Best Bedtime Routine for Tweens and Teens

Adolescents experience biological changes that shift their sleep-wake cycle later, making them naturally want to stay up and sleep in later. However, they still need 8-10 hours of quality sleep, especially during this period of intense growth and development.

Establish reasonable bedtimes: While teens’ biological clocks push for later bedtimes, work with your teen to find a compromise that ensures adequate sleep before school.
Create a wind-down hour: Encourage transition activities like reading, journaling, or listening to calm music.
Implement a tech curfew: Ideally, all electronic devices should be charged outside the bedroom overnight.
Promote healthy evening habits: Discourage caffeine after mid-afternoon and heavy exercise close to bedtime.
Maintain personal hygiene: Shower, dental care, and skincare routines are important for teens.
Practice relaxation techniques: Stress management becomes increasingly important during adolescence.
Respect privacy and independence: Knock before entering and allow more autonomy in managing their routine.
Keep communication open: Brief check-ins about the day maintain connection without seeming intrusive.
Maintain consistency when possible: While weekends may include later bedtimes, try to keep them within 2 hours of weekday times to prevent disrupting sleep cycles.

With teens, focus on education about sleep’s importance rather than strict enforcement. Help them understand how sleep affects athletic performance, academic achievement, skin health, and mood regulation – all things that matter to adolescents.

Children Bedtime Routines Do’s and Don’ts

Creating an effective bedtime routine involves both implementing positive practices and avoiding common pitfalls that can undermine sleep quality.

Do’s

Do be consistent: Follow the same routine steps in the same order each night, even on weekends and holidays when possible.
Do start early enough: Allow plenty of time for the routine without rushing; most routines take 30-45 minutes.
Do create a sleep-friendly environment: Keep bedrooms cool (65-70°F), dark, and quiet for optimal sleep.
Do use positive reinforcement: Praise your child for following the routine rather than punishing resistance.
Do model good sleep habits: Children learn by watching you, so demonstrate healthy sleep practices yourself.
Do respond to your child’s individual needs: Some children need more wind down time or different soothing techniques.
Do incorporate connection: Make time for meaningful interaction during the routine, even if brief.
Do adjust routines as needed: As your child grows or schedules change, be willing to modify the routine while maintaining its structure.
Do be patient: It may take 2-3 weeks for a new routine to become established, so persist through initial resistance.

Don’ts

Don’t include stimulating activities: Avoid roughhousing, exciting games, or scary stories before bed.
Don’t allow screens: The blue light from devices suppresses melatonin production and disrupts sleep cycles.
Don’t serve sugary snacks or caffeine: These can interfere with falling asleep and staying asleep.
Don’t use bedtime as punishment: This creates negative associations with sleep and prevents the establishment of positive bedtime routines for children.
Don’t skip the routine on busy days: Abbreviated versions are better than nothing on hectic evenings.
Don’t start the routine too late: Overtired children often have more difficulty settling down.
Don’t rush through steps: Hurrying creates stress rather than calm.
Don’t give in to stalling tactics: Set clear limits while acknowledging feelings. Use expressions like, “I understand you want another story, but it’s time for sleep now.”
Don’t make major changes during times of transition: Avoid overhauling bedtime routines during moves, new schools, or family changes.

5 Extra Tips for Children Bedtime Routines

Beyond the basics, these specialized strategies can help address common bedtime challenges and enhance your child’s sleep experience:

1. Create a Visual Routine Chart

For children ages 2-8, a visual bedtime routine chart with pictures of each bedtime step provides a concrete reminder of expectations. This promotes independence as children can check what comes next without constant reminders. Consider adding a simple reward system for following the routine consistently.

2. Use a Special Transitional Object

A security item like a special blanket, stuffed animal, or small toy can provide comfort and consistency, especially for children who struggle with separation at bedtime. This object becomes associated with safety and sleep, helping ease bedtime anxiety.

3. Implement a Worry Time Before Bed

For children who struggle with anxious thoughts at bedtime, schedule a brief worry time earlier in the evening. This dedicated time to discuss concerns prevents them from surfacing at bedtime. For younger children, monster spray (water in a spray bottle) or checking for monsters together can address nighttime fears.

4. Establish Sleep-Friendly Nutritional Habits

Certain foods can promote or hinder sleep. Tryptophan-rich foods like milk, bananas, or turkey can support sleep, and others containing natural melatonin like cherries may help. Time the last meal or snack to finish at least 1-2 hours before bedtime.

5. Consider Natural Sleep Aids for Difficult Nights

For occasional sleep difficulties, natural approaches like lavender essential oil (diffused in the room, not applied directly to young children), warm milk, or gentle relaxation recordings designed for children can help. Always consult your pediatrician before using any sleep aids, including natural ones.

Final Thoughts

Creating and maintaining consistent bedtime routines is one of the most valuable gifts you can give your child. Beyond the immediate benefit of better sleep, these routines build a foundation for healthy habits, emotional security, and cognitive development that will serve your children throughout life.

Remember that the best bedtime routines for children are the ones that work for your unique child and family situation. Don’t be afraid to adapt and adjust as needed, while maintaining the core elements of consistency, calm, and connection.

As children grow, their routines will naturally evolve, but the principles remain the same: Providing structure, creating a peaceful transition to sleep, and ending the day with love and security. Even through the challenges of bedtime resistance, busy schedules, and developmental changes, the time invested in establishing solid sleep habits pays dividends in your child’s health, happiness, and development.

What bedtime routines have worked in your family? How have they changed as your children have grown? Have you found creative solutions to bedtime challenges? Other parents and I would love to hear your experiences and suggestions as we support each other through the parenting journey! After all, it takes a village to raise a child.

Best Bedtime Routines for Children: The Parent Guide to Better Sleep and Development

Table of Contents

What Is a Bedtime Routine?